CANADIAN MORMON

I was Mormon before it was cool.

Mormon Apparel

I designed some Mormon T-shirts for another website, and I’ve done my best to walk the fine line of humour, relevance, and respect. It’s hard to make Mormon-themed t-shirts and avoid sacrilege. For instance, you cannot parody (that is, make light of) any doctrines, which leaves skewering Mormon culture as the only remaining option, which is boring and not-so-amusing.

I’ve looked at Mormon t-shirt apparel available online, and wow, it’s terrible. I’ve found they fall into a few categories.

Humour
Typically mild humour, that pokes gentle fun at the foibles of Mormondom. These are printed with phrases you might also see cross-stitched on a wall somewhere. I will also include the “Sons of Helaman: Momma’s Boys” shirts in this section; you know, the one with all the chiseled, shirtless warriors, with their arms folded? Or the “Repent: Tough on Sins” shirt mimicking the Tide laundry detergent logo. (I bought one of those.) Humour is so subjective and such a broad category - I just don’t find many of the existing shirts that aim for humour to be that funny.



“I can’t. I’m Mormon.”
A subset of the humour category, this phrase deserves it’s own category simply because there are so many versions of this ridiculous shirt.

Inexplicably Rude
The inexplicably rude category: You have to really get a thrill from shocking the normals with shirts from this category. For example, some genius figured out that putting the abbreviation for Utah (UT) after an abbreviated abbreviation of Salt Lake City (SL) spelled a naughty word. It would be more clever if it didn’t have to drop the ‘C’ from SLC in order to work, but if you’re the kind of person who would wear that shirt and/or find it amusing, I’m sure you’re not bothered by the logical contortions and cognitive dissonance necessary for the joke to work.

The Importance of Being Earnest.
There’s also the painfully earnest shirts, the ones about families being together forever, etc. For people who want to wear their heart/testimony on their sleeve.

Virulently Anti-Mormon
And there there are a bunch of shirts that can only be described as anti-mormon. They are hostile to the Church and it’s doctrines, and you’ve got to be a special kind of terrible person to design, purchase or wear a shirt from this category.

My shirts fall mostly into the humour category, although a few might be construed as earnest, I suppose. They’re certainly not rude or sacrilegious, and none of them say “I can’t. I’m Mormon.”

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I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I am also, among other things, Canadian. If you've never heard of Mormons, you could do a lot worse than to watch this video. It's ten minutes long, and you'll come out the other end knowing more about Mormons than 90% of the population.

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